The oldest story in the world As a last point, we get to the story. Stories are some of humanity's oldest trappings that set it apart from all other species. As such, we are hard-wired to memorize stories much better than streams of data and cold, hard facts.
The first example is, again, the best. It hints at luxury — a "tuxedo", a "touch of class" and brings to mind James Bond, The Great Gatsby or aristocratic refinement. The vest itself doesn't do that, but its suggested context does. This is a far cry from ways in which sweater vests can appear as objects of ridicule in a stereotypically nerdy or un-fun get-up.
The second example tries to bring to mind the same sophistication, but fails by both being too specific, limiting the story to men, as well as being too crassly commercial. The exclamation mark after the hyperbole reminds us of a merchant shouting at passers-by on a street market, which is hardly a place of class.
The third example simply doesn't have a story. It's a cold list of facts and reasonably informative, but it doesn't sell a feeling, a story or a state of mind. No one but the people already hyped up to buy this item are going to find this an interesting description. Or as Lauren Gilmore from PR & Prose says: "Customers want to know a company is human — that translates to your content."
Put your skills to the test If you want to put these facts to the test, you can. Try them out on your own website or webshop. Don't have a webshop yet? Or perhaps looking for a fast and user-friendly alternative that helps you sell online?
Why don't you give
Sayl Retail a chance — Sayl Retail allows SMEs and starters to set up an online pop-up shop in less than 30 minutes and offers integration with social media, chat channels and existing websites or shops. It was actually designed to help people in making good product descriptions, by spotting content that performs badly, checking for typos and uncommon abbreviations. Oh — and it's free.